Thursday, June 15, 2006
HISTORY
It's been more than a decade since my siblings and I went back to the Philippines to study. Our aunt (from my mother's side) who stayed in our home was to look after and care for us however; the decision we made in going back to the Philippines still haunts me to this day.
I didn't know my siblings and I were to be bombarded with mental and physical abuse from my aunt. She manipulated us in such a way that we thought that we should thank her with the way she treated us, for disciplining us on how to live in the motherland.
She said that our parents were only sending this much and we should keep a tight budget and if we wanted extra convenience we should pay for it from our allowance.
Little did my siblings and I knew that my parents were sending the bulk of their salary to us and they were left with little comfort to spare living in the Middle East.
My mom missed us the most and called often. We put up a front that everything is fine and that we're okay since, my aunt always was present listening to our conversations.
My siblings and I drifted apart during these times and we fought at each other due to my Aunt's influence. I got into trouble at school, got into fights, almost broke someone's nose...
It was in December when my parents visited and slowly my mom took notice of how we looked, the scars I had and with my siblings due to insect bites and the "disciplining" my aunt did to us.
My Aunt pocketed the money my parents sent.
My Mom's intuition didn't fail her and soon there was a fight, my bitch of an Aunt left in the middle of the night along with the money she stole. My parents decided to stay in the Philippines for good.
However; my father eventually had to leave again to the Middle East since, our income couldn't support our expenses especially with my older brother and I attending college. My father didn't attend my graduation in high school nor could he attend my graduation in college and it was the same with my older sibling.
My mom soon left for the Middle East as well when she knew my older brother and I could handle ourselves living alone hence, living apart from them from 2000 to 2005. My father needed my Mother and vice versa. My mom needed at least one of her children with her and it was just right that my youngest sibling went back to the Middle East to finish high school, and then eventually a two year certificate course in college (he was at the top of his batch when he graduated). He'll soon be finishing a four year course next school year and by then, he'd accumulated roughly 4 years of work experience as a technical support engineer in reputable international courier company.
I've been through a lot and because of my experience from my aunt's mental and physical abuse I have qualms when people raise their voices at me. It's like reliving past experiences all over again and I don't want to suck it all up, I can't help but want to get back for what wrong was done to me, I tend to lash out. I didn't deserve to be treated in that way; no one should ever deserve something like that.
Normally I can withstand it; the shouting, the raised voices however; I've had too much stress, I've reached my limit, I need my vacation.
posted by vinz @ 4:08 AM
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4 Comments:
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At 6:57 PM, paninigirl said…
oh dear. i hope you are well, and gets the much needed vacation. i feel for you, stress and all, and the need to just go away for a while to gather yourself again. take care always and keep the faith!!
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At 4:02 PM, said…
Another silly question -- di ka pa din nakakapag-bakasyon sa Pilipinas 'till now? :O
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At 4:53 PM, vinz said…
yah.. sucky isn't it? hehehe
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At 3:00 AM, Steffi said…
it's sucky how sometimes, it's a family member who ends up betraying you. =P
sana makahabol ka bakasyon. sabay ka kay jet. =) tapos enchanted tayo! =D ililibre pa kita ng cotton candy. =) miss ko na kayo!
