Monday, August 29, 2005
I’VE SORELY MISSED YOU
So, I can’t help myself feeling all giddy inside. The thought she might be able to say a few words, -few nonchalant words, entices me all the same. And yet, I am afraid it will all be for not. What am I to do? I feel like I already lost without any confirmation, is this true? This concurrent feeling I am having? Or is it just a part of me who doubts everything. I can’t say, though, one thing is for certain, I will see this through to the end. It might hurt me, I might feel the pain I am accustomed to but, I do have the satisfaction of not leaving any regrets behind.
As I was writing this article I was chatting with her sister and She beside her while she studies online, and towards the end of the conversation, I had to leave my desk and while I was away she dropped me a few messages.
It was merely a few words yet it touched me to the core. It justified how I’ve been longing for her presence in my life, and those few words meant a lot to me. I’ve been craving for her attention, and all the longing for her went away for a few seconds as I read those few lines. I need her and yet, I hardly know her, all I know is that I want to be in her life and her in mine.
One thing is for certain, that my feelings for her are true and profound. Most men would take on the opportunity on meeting someone new and attempt to vie for someone whenever they can however, I don’t. Even if I have been faced with incessant flirtations from another my feelings for her doesn’t falter, it isn’t because my mind has made up on her rather, my heart has and that says it all.
I wish I could say those three words in front of her and yet, when I do utter those words, it will have more depth to it, it’s not the kind of endearment in which one says to a friend or family but, towards a partner. I fear it’s too soon to utter those words and yet, she knows, without a doubt.
Here is one guy from her past that has resurfaced, someone she used to know and I know she marvels at my change, we are no longer kids and we have grown so much, too much as one can expect from our age. Though, it may be a good thing, because we know the value, the hardship and the beauty of what life has to offer. I’ve been through a lot and maybe, my experiences in life are a preparation for her when I enter into her world. Will I be her beacon of hope and warmth, in which I can shed a different perspective; a life wherein I am included in hers.
My lips want to utter her name and my mind is brimming with her countenance. “I missed you too” my soul states, “I want to be with you and listen to your thoughts” my mind utters, and my heart whispers, “I want to be with you.”
posted by vinz @ 12:15 PM
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