Sunday, August 07, 2005
Six Hours Of Rant
So, I’ve managed to save a hefty amount of cash since I’ve been working here. I’ve managed to shrug off most of my “impulse buying” attacks. And it feels so good to have something saved up in case of emergencies. Living alone for the past three years does have its advantages.
I vividly remember this one time, I ran out of cash because I’d go out and partied often. And for three days I didn’t have anything to eat… well, alright, 2 and half days. Even though I could have borrowed some cash from my trusty best bud, I didn’t, told myself this was my punishment for spending without thinking for the future. Though, I didn’t do it again (snicker), the next time I ran out of cash, I loaned some money from my trusty best bud. The difference was, I fore saw my lack of cash whenever I loaned some cash and whenever I received my allowance I paid him immediately and it wasn’t always like that, I lent him some cash too when he was in need.
I guess, this was how it started, thinking for my future when I started budgeting the allowance my parents sent me every month, during those times when I was living alone. For a time, I did all my laundry, household chores and cooking. I was fortunate enough to have hired a trust worthy household cleaner who would do the laundry and the cleaning of my home twice a week. Even if her laundry skills aren’t that good, it was still a relief to have someone clean the house in order for me to concentrate on my studies and later after graduating, concentrate on the things that I passionately love which is, writing, reading, dabbling with my pc with the different software applications I am knowledgeable at and yes, the dates I’ve had with people I met who I was attracted to and as well as the times when I went out with friends.
I wasn’t certain I’d find work, though I never thought about going back to the Philippines after three months living here. Probably at the back of my mind I was sure that everything would pan out. I still don’t know what lies ahead of me, I know I want to reach this goal but the details to get there, I haven’t figured that out yet, it’ll come to me when the time arrives.
Counting the days until my vacation has become a routine in the mornings, as soon as wake I open my Friendster account and edit the days, as of now I have two hundred and eight (208) days before I can take my leave. In a way it teaches me patience and discipline. It also gives me a sense of time to which I look forward to. Thankfully my parents have told me not to give them part of my salary after August. I can save more and it’ll be easier for me when I take my vacation.
Sometimes life demands a change so that one can grow and develop as an individual, my life changes constantly every year. I’ve grown so much during my years of living independently and sadly, I have to admit that I’ve barely grown as a person living here though; I have to say in the aspect of work related experience I have grown and learned a lot. I’m currently living a droned life and what keeps me sane are the people I left in the Philippines and the people I met online. I’d probably be playing pc games or I would have bought a playstation2 if there weren’t websites like Friendster, Multiply and Blogspot. I’ve been avoiding video games because it takes a toll in my life, I don’t accomplish anything when I play and I am improving at nothing. Regardless, it passes the time, I avoid it whenever I can, I prefer helping friends with what I can and making them smile with the little things that I do.
I wonder what life I will lead when I finally have someone to come home to. Will I pass by the florist before I head home every once in a while? Will I be able to converse with her without noticing the time? I know the value of having time alone, because I need it from time to time, I tend to sink into my own world, a need to recharge my batteries and during the weekends here, I tend to do just that. For the past week I’ve been offline in my YM messenger and I was flattered that I received a few offline messages inquiring where I was. I’ve practically been online 24/7 for the past months. And whenever a friend needs my console they’d simply go online and ping me a message, I usually find myself waking at the wee hours of the morning chatting with friends that I hold dear.
A friend of mine recently asked for a favor, and to be honest, I relish these moments when they need me. I think it’s the best thing in the world helping someone you know, I prefer helping people I know instead of helping someone I just met or strangers. Anyhow, my heart is overwhelmed with joy as I read through her replies with joy and appreciation. My first love taught me the value of making someone smile without expecting anything; it is one of the greatest lessons in life that I learned.
Generally speaking, things are fine. I’ve gotten closer to some of my friends when I was leaving and I met new people via Multiply and more or less have gotten close to them as well. I got reacquainted with a childhood friend that I’ve longed to communicate with, got in touch with old friends that I thought I’d never get to. They keep me sane, it’s hard living here where you’ve been restricted with so many things that you’ve grown accustomed to and sometimes it takes its toll on you. Just a little more patience, time flies and I just realized I’ve been writing this piece of article on and off for the past six hours.
posted by vinz @ 11:01 AM
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