Monday, August 08, 2005
Understanding Me
It is flattering to hear your friends say that they wish there were more men like me though, at the same time its heart wrenching. Why can’t there be more guys who are deserving of their affection? But then again, I am not the typical guy or so they say. Could it be the reasons for which is my background, my upbringing or the choices I have made in the past that molded me into the man I have become?
None of my friends can argue that I’m just all talk since whenever I set my mind into something I go for it, gritting my teeth as I face the odds and often enough, I miraculously come through with flying colors. Take into light when I got here. I didn’t know if I was to find work and one week into my search I landed this job; had an interview and two days later started working in this company. I’ve been blessed enough and I’m truly thankful to the almighty. Humility is what one needs to recognize in order for opportunity and success to come to them, one of the lessons in life I have learned.
I tend to have a way with words, able to say the right things with the correct intonation, expression at the right moments. It comes naturally to me, especially when I’m not pressured. I tend to be more of myself when I’m alone with someone, rarely when I’m with a group of people. The only time I can remember when a group of people saw an inkling of the real me was my retreat and last recollection in college. I may not be the guy who can naturally crack jokes and make everyone laugh until their stomachs ache however; I’ve been known to crack a few. But I’m the friend who’ll be there in your time of need if I am able, someone who has been there in their worst and at times, embarrassing moments.
I’ve been known to utter painfully honest opinions when inquired upon. I don’t have the patience nor do I feel that I have the time to come up with lies and, to think this is coming from someone who has a way with words. So, what does that tell you?
I’m not one to take a lead upon issues; I prefer to inspire people to be moved by my actions. I read about this one individual who wanted to change the world for the better, she/he tried but failed. She/He thought she’d/he’d try something smaller, so she/he tried the city she/he was living in and couldn’t as well. So, she/he decided to change her/his family for the better and that too she/he failed. She/He decided then on to change herself/himself for the better. The moral of the story for me is if you want to make a difference, start with yourself. I am grateful that I have been told that I have inspired a few; a life changing decision, an old passion rediscovered, a different means of expressing one’s self and a motivation to pursue something further that is of interest.
It seems a life time ago when a friend of mine asked what I meant when I told him presentation is key when handing someone a present. Giving a present to someone you have affection for is ordinary; the key to a lasting memory when offering someone a present is creating a story behind it regardless what the gift is. Cater to the five senses that’s the first thing I think about when I plan on giving someone a present and to be honest, it usually takes me a month to finish and be satisfied with the creativity and intricacy of the ideas I have concocted. I like to talk about it with my friends and see what their thoughts are, in a way it follows through on the perception that I’m not the typical guy. I’ve never cheated nor have I forced my affections on anyone.
I have an eye for beauty, able to bring out the best in words whether it be features or character of someone I’m conversing with or about. I believe more of the general goodness in women versus the men, and it isn’t because I studied in my college, its more I suppose because I know what my gender generally thinks. Ergo, I have little faith in men’s sincerity, there’s always a catch, a wanting to gain, to take advantage, to come up on top in regards to my gender and of course, there were rare occasions that I’ve been wrong.
There is no point to what I have written here, it’s simply my means of understanding me. A reminder of the person I am, my quirks and views. A means to pass the time.
posted by vinz @ 9:42 AM
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