Thursday, September 22, 2005
MOVING ON
I am sick and damn tired of it all, witnessing another person I care for succumbing to unfair and unjust demands. The deprivation of one’s growth, I detest it, I despise it and because of it I have this burning hatred towards those people responsible for it.
My speculations may be wrong but I can’t help but feel that I lost you all over again, maybe it really isn’t meant to be and this is my way of moving on, my way in order for those tears spilling in me to stop. The fates had our paths crossed once again and maybe it’s because of the prayers I’ve done over the past decade. Maybe it’s all part of his plan in order for me to end a chapter in my life that I’ve been holding on to, and have I hold on to it unwaveringly. How many ladies have I gone out with that is near to where you used to live? How many nostalgic nights have I thought of you? All that now has a conclusion, all that now has an answer and I have no regrets. Yet, I can’t help but feel disappointed in you where you give in to such demands.
Not a day has passed since you came that I haven’t thought of you and now, I have to move on for I will admit to this loss, there isn’t anything I can do. I hate the situation I am in, however it can’t be helped. It isn’t just my future which is on the line, I have people relying on me and the family in which I want to bring into this world depends on my next few decisions in life.
I have to bid this past of mine a farewell, as well as the prospective future I was avid for.
I have to admit, I am afraid, afraid of failure but if I don’t believe in myself then all this planning and preparation will be a waste of time, for one cannot succeed if one doesn’t believe in himself.
For the past seven years, I have meticulously broaden my network of friends and promised myself not to commit a mistake someone close to me has done, to this day I still reap the rewards with this foresight.
I am blessed to have a life despite my distance to have steady communication with friends I care and love; friends who have listened and read to my constant meanderings.
I have reached that fork on the road in which my next decision will entail another drastic change in my life, I’m just waiting for the season to change before I embark on this new path, I don’t know what lies ahead but I have a few people who will meet me in this path, to hold my hand and shed light to the challenges that lies ahead. I have my faith, my passion and my will to accompany me and I shall see through it in the end.
posted by vinz @ 6:42 AM
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