Sunday, January 16, 2005
Back After A Decade
He wakes; the warm blanket that covers him seems to do little to comfort him. It’s been two weeks since he’s arrived in the land he was raised in, a lot has changed and yet, there are still people that are as barbaric as they were when he left a decade ago. Progress has come and the restrictions set by their culture are losing the battle. The youth nowadays seem to ignore it, seeking independence from the restraints set by their government.
He rubs his hands together and blows them, making an effort to keep them warm, as he tidies up his bed.
Afterwards, he opens his monitor, he never shuts down his personal computer, he leaves it open 24/7 and always online, thanking his parents under his breath for having subscribed DSL. He checks who’s online and his email.
A few minutes later, he prepares breakfast, he sits there eating and pondering on the events that happened last December. He’s touched more lives than he thought he would. A couple of coffee sessions with friends reminiscing how he was back-in-the-day and how he has remarkably changed over the years, stronger, more patient and confident with himself, enlightens him. Friends who’s his relationship with have been forged with mishaps which made their bond adamant.
He’s had a lot of experience and feels privileged to have gone through it all, even the bad ones. Living independently from his parents for 5 years was the reason for it all. A growth in him splurged last month, as he spent time with a friend of his that he rarely sees. He gave notice several things about him, underscoring how it isn’t likely to see men as they are, men of great fortitude and reliance, articulate, open minded and affectionate towards others, given of his age of early twenties. Their friendship has become a give and take over the previous month they were seeing each other. Evenings of late night sodas, fried noodles and for his friend, smoking, were spent at his home, talking sensibly up till the wee hours of the morning. A few joy rides were undertaken, taking advantage of how the road was free of traffic.
He’ll surely miss the outbreak of humor with his close friends as they are riding in either one’s cars. The silly humor, the antics, all of it…
He begins to clean the dishes and hears the television blaring in the background, a program in the “The Filipino Channel” was on. His mind wanders on his recent heartbreak, he was expecting it though, and his high intuition rarely makes mistakes. He took his time, for some reason, he couldn’t quite make the time for her over the last months he spent in his beloved country and for that, he reaps the consequences. Thoughts of: will he matter to her if the time comes when he comes back? Why has she made this much impact in him, when clearly, he barely knows her.
He therefore concludes that he won’t be shutting his doors to others. If the time comes and he still has feelings for her and has the ample opportunity, then, who knows? It might as well be fate that they were meant for each other. Time can only tell.
His morning meditation was disturbed as he heard a loud screeching of a car. His mind then, meanders on someone he’s had a crush with, when he was in grade 6 and vividly, he remembers imprinting a thought of her after they’ve graduated elementary, she was with her father, and he was with his. They were proceeding to their car, because the graduation ceremony was over. They greeted each other with congratulations and he thought that was probably the only conversation he had with her, although it can’t even be considered one. His father made notice of her father’s handicap, however, he didn’t notice as he was transfixed by her countenance.
Why has her sudden thought come to mind? He asked himself. Yeah, sure, he’s been communicating with her a little over last year. He found her on ‘Friendster’. Well, he found and got to communicate with a lot of people he never talked to before back-in-the-day through ‘Friendster’. Why now? It’s a mystery to him. Sure, she’s become more attractive over the years, he based it on her pictures, even so, the few conversations he’s had with her has told him a lot about how she carries herself. Truly, she’s another woman to be reckoned and admired with. It’s a wonder why she’s still single, and probably, there aren’t any guys like himself around, he chuckles on the thought. What was he thinking?! Where has his mind wandered off too, he tries to shrug anymore thoughts of her, thinking it merely as coincidence.
Work, he tries to focus on what work he’ll be having in this place. He hopes that whatever work he’d find would be related to the course he took up in college. His main goal is to pay off all the debts his family has and help his parents have an easy daily life. His two brothers are doing their part as well, his older brother has 3 more semesters to go before he graduates on his 2nd degree, and his youngest brother is already working and doing his part to ease his parents’ costs on their daily living. He on the other hand, is waiting for his parents’ ‘go’ signal to find work there, they say he should adjust to the surroundings first and take in the food that he missed over a decade so much, and he chuckles on the thought.
Besides that, he’s as well planning on having a family after achieving the comfort his parents needed, however, the arrangement they, him and his brothers, had with their parents was that they’d marry on their late twenties or early thirties. Small details, you can’t set a deadline for love he thought. He simply wants to be financially ready when he is to embark the next step of his life, which is to have a family of his own. By meaning the term ‘financially ready’ that would entail having a business of his own, he and his close friend have been planning a business of their own ever since their college days, a substantial amount of money in his savings, a house and lot, and probably a stable job he loves, if the business isn’t enough for him to feel satisfied and, of course, a practical and luxurious car.
He takes on all this thoughts as he meditates; a morning ritual he does to keep his ‘temper’ in check and as well, a means to make him stronger mentally. He then, sits on his personal computer, opens the application ‘Microsoft Word’ and begins to write the thoughts that entered his mind this morning, as he plays the song ‘Got You’ by the Flys is being repeated again and again.
posted by vinz @ 1:54 AM
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