Friday, October 26, 2007
Quality Control for Quality Men ~01
I've been playing in my mind about this topic for years and with the recent entry written by a fellow Multiplier it became my catalyst to finally jot down years of reflection and experience.
In conversations with friends this topic arises and I have shared more than once my views about finding a partner and perhaps, that's one of the reasons why I've stayed single for so long because even in my subconscious I knew that I'll meet the lady who'll complement me in so many ways.
Please note that this is my preference and my general assumption on the matter. Everyone has different tastes and always think about what you’re looking for in a relationship, a commitment with "someone that would complement you and not complete you" (if I may quote my lovely girlfriend with that statement *smiles*) because being involved isn’t about being complete, it's about growing and developing to the person you are, you have to complement each other for you to understand one another.
First there has to be attraction with one another and I do mean with one another. It isn’t a one way feeling, if she has in some way showed an inkling of affection then, do the same (i.e. an inkling as well, don't go overboard you git) and never, ever assume about a gesture that is considered friendly. Make your intentions known, you're the guy here, be a man and admit it and don't hide under pretenses. If you let your intentions known then she can set her barriers.
A real man who wants the real thing will do everything in a moral and also common sense to break those barriers without crossing the line. Let me emphasize it again, without crossing the bloody line. I’ve seen it so many friggin' times that it's sickening already. Did I mention moral and common sense? Yes I did -think about it!
You have to get to know the lady before committing into a relationship with her; we tend to visit their family during courtship, right? Even if we're a few weeks into the relationship they tend to introduce us to their parents. This is your chance to get some alone time with the siblings, the parents and try to get as much information about her pet peeves. If you can handle that then, good for you if not, it's best you stop the courtship or break up with the relationship if you can't deal with it.
Here's the thing, not all women agree in courtship, if they like you then, you're a couple just like that in a blink of an eye. In my experience, I'd prefer she gets to know me better and never show your best foot forward, act the natural you and so, if you do commit into a relationship with her, she'll know what to expect and take into consideration.
Second, you have to know what you're looking for in a woman. What traits does she have, her habits, the lifestyle she’s living in, who and what kind of friends does she have. Take for example with me; I do not want a girlfriend who drinks and parties all night so, how do I meet someone like that? Well, obviously there's a high probability of not meeting someone like that when you're out drinking in a club somewhere in the metro. Also, think about would she want to be committed with someone who parties and drinks all night? Again, think about complimenting one another, the above example is simply one point of view there are tons out there depending on what values you represent.
Sometimes what you're looking for doesn't come with all the packages and with what you want always comes with different matches. For instance, you prefer committing into a relationship with someone who likes to shop, be prepared for long walks if you want to spend time with her and accompany her shop unless she prefers shopping alone or with her friends although, missing out on what outfits she tries on is a total loss *laughs*. Or another case would be you want someone who's outspoken and passionate about different matters but she can’t cook or is totally disorganized with her things.
Third, it's really about complementing each other and compromising. You are in agreement that you’re both in a relationship and that you love each other. If she can understand your needs about a hobby whether it is about cars or Airsoft or what have you then, you have a keeper. Of course, you have to understand and provide time with her and her likes as well. I say if she does something nice, like giving you a present about something you're interested in or passionate in then, she's a keeper.
This entry is taking too long *laughs* I guess, I'll write a sequel to this entry soon.
Labels: Quality Control
posted by vinz @ 9:08 PM
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