Thursday, March 23, 2006
RESTLESS
What keeps me going nowadays is the prospect of my vacation 37 days from now. I’m too tired and too spent with what I’m doing here every day and despite what people here think. I handle a lot of cases and issues none of these blokes can even fathom. Sure I don’t sell what they do however; I bargain and take into consideration who and which supplier to contact in regards to quality of service and delivery. It’s easier to negotiate deals if you are employed by a reputable company.
I can’t stop thinking about people management. People nowadays don’t have this skill or is it probably the education I received in college which makes me understand and empathize? Morale is important for production and sometimes privileges are required to attain morale.
Let’s just see what havoc will come when I do take my vacation and extend a few extra days. I just need a bit more patience and think that I only have 12 months before I leave this place. And when I get back from my vacation I only have 10 months of waiting and on the seventh month I’ll be taking my vacation again.
I still don’t know if I specialize in anything, even if my line of work is essentially supply chain management, people here don’t take notice of that. I understand I need to have certificates to prove to them that I know what I do. Do I specialize in my line of work? I don’t think so; I think I have a grasp of the subject due to experience. I don’t have the luxury to study and work in the Philippines not with the pay I’m receiving here though, at what price will I be exchanging all of this for?
Soon I say, just a bit more patience, a bit more saving and soon, I will be away from the land which I grew up. I have returned and I have bid my farewell. I’ve sacrificed my 23rd year and I will do so once again for my 24th all for the sake of a financially stable future.
I’m hitting bumps on the road right now; I just want it all over so I can reach the next step although these “bumps” remind me what I want to attain.
Thoughts of spending time with someone looms over in my mind, the deadline I have set for myself is now 1 to 2 years. Will I reach this goal? Will I be destined to live alone because of my personality?
A friend of mine was right, I don’t reveal too much of myself to people. I can pretty much share the surfaces of my feelings/thoughts however when it comes to the deep ends of my thoughts, I seem to become mute. Maybe, the person who’s meant for me will unlock this trait about me?
It’s sad to think that I feel I’ve taken a step back from the person that I was though, the memories I’ve shared and the closeness I’ve imbued with friends will always remain however; I still feel a bit disappointed since, I never envisioned my life to be like this when I moved here.
I knew it would be hard however; there’s a huge difference with knowing in contrast to experiencing. I should look at the bright side and what I’m going through here is for the best.
While I’m looking at the bright side I have to say a few doors opened to me since I’ve gotten the chance to chat with a few people I’ve admired in my past, and I must say I’m looking forward in spending time with them as well.
I feel restless, now that I’ve been given assurance of my vacation. I can’t wait for this year to pass and I hope the preparations I’m undertaking would be rewarded just as I have hoped when the time comes. I’m tired of living here; I’m tired with dealing with these people.
posted by vinz @ 5:59 AM
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