Sunday, January 29, 2006
TIRED AND ROLES TO PLAY
I need a vacation! Last week was too hectic, work was too stressful. I lived a zombie life the last couple of days. Distanced myself a bit from the people that keep me sane since, I needed to finish something and I thought I need to deal the pressure from work on my own.
I’ve been praying all morning and I hope it all blows over and turns out fine today. If I wasn’t overworked it could have been avoided but then again all of these real reasons will fall on deaf ears. I was responsible and I should have dealt with it accordingly. I really need a vacation but I still can’t. The last week of April, I will be taking my vacation on the last week of April; it won’t be on the 3rd week anymore. My mom will be coming with me and havoc and mayhem will incur when we come home and see the house. I miss my dog too, he’ll be turning three this year and I bloody bet he hasn’t taken a bath for over a year and that his shots were never given. There is so much to do when I come home and so many people to see.
I am a responsible guy but honestly, I hate responsibility. Though if it has been handed to me, I can’t see myself not fulfilling the role because, I know, I’ll hate myself if I don’t. Role, now where did that come from?
Thursday night was our alumni homecoming and two weeks prior I was given the position of P.R.O. after having declined an earlier position (weaseled my way on that except for the last one).
The first alumni homecoming and surmise to say, I went around a lot of tables, joked around and tried to catch up a bit on the different batches. I even danced, dear GOD, me dance? Christ Almighty, I don’t dance but I had to support the officers and yes, I hated myself the following morning for having to dance. I miss Bev; she’s the only person I’m comfortable dancing with (Blue Onion days). Anyhow, the night went well, I had fun and I met a few interesting people talked to a few people that I was intrigued with and went home and slept like there was no tomorrow.
The following day, I took up a couple of classes to rebuff my resume since; the lawyer we hired advised us that it would be better if I had certificate courses on my resume. So, I took up Hardware Assembly and PC Troubleshooting for my first two hour class and Networking 1 for my second class for 12 weeks.
During my first class I couldn’t help but doze off apparently, I was still tired from last night’s activities and the topic they were talking about I already know. I realize that computers are a part of my life, having growing up around them and all as well as the classes taught during my years of studying.
I find it ironic, just when I’m not looking for any leadership roles, I become nominated for it. In my first class we were grouped and the group wanted me be the leader since, I’m just reviewing what they’re just about to take up. So, I had no choice in the matter and I accepted the role keeping in my mind my responsibilities. We were then (the group leaders) were asked to give a speech to be voted as their president in class, I gave a speech too and told them I didn’t want to be president, it went well, I wasn’t voted. I got their attention first and then told them I don’t want to be the president.
I suppose, the leadership seminars that I attended in college helped with my distaste for leadership. I don’t want to command people to do this or that, I want to influence them but then again, being a leader doesn’t entail you being an expert in a given field it simply means you know how to handle and collaborate with your members (or resources hek hek hek).
I blame leadership seminars (especially the AIESEC seminars) and Sun Tzu’s the Art of War for providing me the know-how, confidence and capability to lead people, whether I abuse them or not. I know the responsibilities of being a leader and its theories but it doesn’t mean I can lead though, I can always try. I believe I was meant to advice and be on the background rather being on the spotlight and lead. To advice leaves you less burden to handle, less minds to think and care for.
I have a tendency to become heartless and unforgiving when given leadership roles. My friends who I play strategic war games can vouch how cruel I can be but then again, it’s all about objectives, perspectives and paradigm shifting in this world. Also, no one really does get hurt in those games with the exemptions of everyone’s egos *laughs*.
Leadership roles: I see it as a burden but, if I must then, I must. One thing I hate that comes with this role is the politics, I will keep in mind the objectives of the group first and foremost, I will set aside any dislikes or disputes (if it comes), professionalism is a must and for the next ten weeks of my life I have five older men under my wing to look after their best interests.
My years in college molded me to the man I am today and the people I met as well as the institution I was privileged to join provided me the opportunity and the experience to become a reputable person.
posted by vinz @ 2:37 AM
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