Wednesday, January 25, 2006
REFLECTING
It’s a Tuesday and I’m already here in the office, I can’t wait for this day to end so I can head home and do what I want to do. I miss not working for a living or I wish I can land a job in which I will enjoy myself. Writing a novel and getting paid for it sounds great and spending time with a hot lady editor at that. (Laughs)
One of my favorite movies of all time is “Kissing a Fool”. The lead actor of the movie is Jason Lee (the smart mouth best-friend in “Mall Rats”) and he was a novelist in this movie and in the end he fell in love and got married with his editor of the book publishing company he was employed.
I loved it because of the life style he led as a writer and because of the message given at the end of the movie and that is “True love cannot be found where it isn’t hidden.”
Now, isn’t that something? “True love cannot be found where it isn’t hidden”
What thoughts come to my mind when I hear that phrase? Is it the prospect of finding someone or is it dismay? Well, honestly I feel both sides however, I lean more into the prospect of finding someone.
And while I wait I’ll do what I can to improve and become a better man. I’ve come a long way from the moody kid that I was growing up and I never thought I’d live up to this age, it was unfathomable to me when I was little. I mean, yes, I wondered how I would be like when I was eight, wondered how tall or what I’d look like ten years from now at that time and the next thing I knew I was 18, heart broken and miserable. But that’s all in the past; I’ve gone out and met other ladies in my life. True; most of the time I’ve gotten hurt, true; I’ve backed out countless times, true; that for a brief moment of my time they were my world.
Would I know what true love is? For the past few months I’ve been thinking about that, if I know what love really is and I have concluded that I don’t know, I am in fact clueless when it comes to loving a partner or identifying if I’ve fallen in love with a person. However, when infatuation comes, well, now that I know very well and experience has played a major role in this understanding.
I can recall this one time, I was with someone and we’ve become intimate, I knew she wanted me to utter those three words, it was in her eyes. I’ve become her source of strength and well as I’ve found comfort in her company. We’ve been talking a lot in those days and we’ve gone out a few times already, she knew how to tease me, to entice me and I was one to notice her subtle body language however, on that day, I couldn’t say it, I just looked into her eyes, closed mine and kissed her. She knew I didn’t love her and we drifted apart soon after though, I do have a few updates about her, I’m glad that she has found the man of his life and I’m truthfully happy for her.
There was also a time I went out with this lady unbeknownst to my close friends. We saw each other on and off, and I liked the arrangement. I can converse with her for hours and she knows how to seduce a guy. She always said I was her naughty and yet adorable lil devil. Pet names (hah!). It was a time when I was finally living alone, away from any family; I had our home and our car all to myself. She sometimes spent a day in my place, and it was to get away from her family. Surmise to say, it was a time in our lives where we experimented and learned a lot about ourselves. Last I heard from her is that she moved abroad, ironic since, I was the one who always told her I’d be moving and then she was the one who left first.
I wonder what lies before me. My future seems to be coming along fine, and I’m meeting more and new interesting people, thanks to the internet, of course. Though, don’t think I join chat rooms, (Christ Almighty! Me? In “chat rooms?” *Laughs*) I’m not the bleeding type to go into such rooms. I’ve been lucky enough to have hopped into interesting blogs authored by great minds (naks!)
Anyhow, I’m a bit perky today. I wasn’t yesterday though.
Just a little more than a year and I hope the two years I will be lending my life here will lead me to that goal I’ve been aspiring for, I’ll get there, I know I will.
posted by vinz @ 4:18 AM
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5 Comments:
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At 11:20 AM, Yoyce said…
“True love cannot be found where it isn’t hidden”
... parang hindi naman hinahanap ang mga taong nandyan lang sa tabi natin palagi. :) hehehe
sensya na nabubuwang na ako sa work e.
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At 6:22 PM, vinz said…
hey joyce, sorry.. but i can't understand what you wrote and what you mean by it. :)
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At 9:03 PM, quixotic said…
loving someone entails a lot of things..there are times when your feelings will not be reciprocated. when you've learn to love without the expectations...man, that's really something... ;-)
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At 1:29 PM, vinz said…
learn to love without expectations?
the irony of it all is that's one of the first lessons i've learned.
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At 3:01 PM, vinz said…
reading my comment today, i was unaware or unable to fathom what loving without expectation was at that time.
and i never did.
