Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Melancholy Afternoon
it has been more than four months since he left. has he grown from then? a bit i suppose, his temper constantly being pushed to the limit, the stress and fatigue has come and caught him from time to time, and his health isn't what it used to be. there's a melancholy about him, his eyes tell that he seeks something missing in his life.
home... where is home? he feels he has bid farewell to the country in which he was raised. going back to the motherland doesn't appeal to him that much. he wants freedom and something to do that he enjoys.he knows he won't fulfill his aspirations in his motherland... it's good enough to vacation there from time to time. but for him to achieve what he wants in life? he feels he has a better chance finding it in another country.
eight more months he tells himself, just eight more months and you can try and move to another country. one has to create the choices if need be.
let him swallow his dream of love, chastity and defiance. he sets his mind into achieving the financial security that he desires. one must train the mind again to achieve these. a masteral degree in education is no longer a priviledge but a necessity to go on in this life.
he still has a hard time adjusting to living with his parents, its been six years since he was left alone to live by himself and his older brother. three years since his brother left for the States.
he misses the simple pleasures that he does. the restraints living in this country is getting to him... and his patience is lessened day by day by it. however, it would seem that he has just sealed his stay here for at least the next eight months.he still has a lot to learn from his current job... the experience he has garnered this past three months has provided him confidence and a desire to improve and learn more. but it doesn't mean that he loves what he does... writing is his passion, he realized that last year. 2004, a year of reflection and soul searching.the song "the day you said goodnight" by hale is played... and the music soothes his troubled soul for some reason.
"...Take me as you are, push me off the road, the sadness, I need this time to be with you I'm freezing in the sun; I'm burning in the rain The silence; I'm screaming, calling out your name..."
will he find that right person at the right moment? could the woman he recently confessed his affections be the one? the feelings he has for her is without a doubt sincere however, due to the circumstances it isn't likely to happen... will it? he can defy everything once he sets his mind into something but the question lies, is his feelings being reciprocated? he has laid his heart out hastily once again... and he's been inching on taking the necessary measures... the past is a reminder not something to wallow upon.
he takes a moment and prays to the almighty for strength, a sign to which path he should pursue... what does his heart tell him? what should he do? take the options that is in front of him and see from there.
his mind consoles him, she should learn to love you not with the material things that you present her, but of the thoughts and feelings that move her, ardent affections of chaste and humor.
posted by vinz @ 2:04 PM
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