Vinzi's Life: making it happen.

Sunday, February 29, 2004

Finding himself lost in thought yet again, he drives aimlessly throughout the night. He looks at the time: 10:36. He heads home and from what he gathered he puts into writing.
He wants to be perceived by people in different ways, often experimenting with hypothesis he formulated. Never truly understood, and most of the time, he tests limits of persons he is acquainted with. He thinks and wonders if they could see through his ploy. Yet, how could one think such a thing? Thinking that he acts this sort of way so as to be perceived in this manner.
Could it be a positive or negative trait, you wonder? Yes, to both accounts.
Let me start off with the negative: he would plant words in a conversation that emphasizes a trait that results to a discernment of his character, such as: insecurities, low self-esteem and the like. Which ensues an increased probability that the persons involved would reach to the point of irritation (my apologies).
To the positive aspect as to why he does this. When he delves into this side, it is more of self-improvement of his character than it is what he wants to be distinguished as. Which often ensues and reaps integrity and respect, two qualities he thirsts for, to people he admires, if not hold a lot of respect for.
Could this be a dementia of a man who craves for greatness at the same time tries to assay the psyche?
What drives him? He wonders.
Why does it come natural to him?
A close friend of his understands and knows when he enters into this negative state of perception. He states that you could see a glint of mischievousness in his eyes. Which is often when they are with acquaintances.
Could it all be a defense mechanism of some sort? Perhaps…

posted by vinz @ 6:46 PM
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