Friday, November 11, 2005
BLAB
The music is blaring and he finds solace in the midst of it all, the clicking of the keyboard as he types his thoughts comforts him in some way, a familiar sound as he releases his angst on everything. A single song is played again and again; he sings to the lyrics as he put into words his thoughts…
I’ve been trying to avoid writing my thoughts about my feelings for her in fear that it all my lead to nothing and yet again, it has led to such. Shall I describe the unbearable feeling of being turned down once again? Or shall reminisce on times where I was the one who turned someone down? Letting the bitterness take over? I think not.
For some reason I’m not that afraid and maybe, the reason for which is that I’ve already mind-set that this would happen. I was terrified in telling her how I feel and yet, based from the people who I know who have been committed for the longest time; their relationship didn’t start out as everything bright and shiny, two out of three were turned down from vying for their affection and after some time they became a couple. Would this imply for me as well? I’m not certain though, I do know that I should let these feelings guide me and maybe in the end an answer for me awaits.
He closes his eyes and shakes his head as he sees the lyrics in his mind: “listen to these things I have to say…” he utters the words in a whisper.
As always, with every disappointment that has come his way he focuses on something which he can improve on. That’s why for the past couple of days he hones a skill he has previously learned.
He should try and avoid her for awhile to ease the hurt and longing that he feels, so he could numb everything and throw away the feelings he has nurtured for the past several months but then again, he knows he can’t do that, this time it’s different, he felt it as soon as she said that it wasn’t possible. Should I argue with fate or reason out that the universe conspires or is it just that his mind has finally cracked?
Either way he amuses himself of these thoughts as he looks for another track to listen to. He searches his play list for a female artist, he wants to listen to a woman’s voice next, something which he could hum to the music with; he chooses “be my world” by milky.
Great, what an ironic title to the song he says to himself. “Be-My-World” he says out loud and shrugs.
posted by vinz @ 9:43 AM
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