Vinzi's Life: making it happen.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

I have her in my arms, comforting her with the best to my abilities, tears are streaming down her face, she’s scared and I am as well. I can’t let myself shed a tear; I have to be strong for her.
Being touchy with my friends is still a whole different territory for me. I need to show her that I’m with her no matter what, that I love her and care for her immensely. And to have her in my arms is the only way I could do so and it defeats any word that I may speak.
Dear God, I hope the advice I’ve given her is for the best and please guide me through this difficult time.
Since this morning, I felt like that I have a pit in my stomach, I have a headache and it feels like I’m going to get sick. I’ve taken some medicine and I feel a bit woozy.
Why do I feel so scared for her? Probably, empathy is at fault or is it because she’s one of my dearest and loved friends? And the thought of her getting hurt, pains me.
I wish the time I spent with her were enough for her to gain some courage and strength. If not, let her other friends that she’ll meet up with, imbue her some.
It appears to be that this past week, friends of mine look to me for strength and guidance. I pray that I may have succeeded in doing so, for their sake and mine.
At present, I am currently in a dilemma and I may have strayed from the right path a bit. I owe my deepest gratitude to my friends who have been attempting to get me to the right path. It seems I’m veering to it once again.
No more one night stands for me.
Let the cravings subside and my frustrations, be resolved, accordingly.
Why are there so many hesitations? And after I’ve deliberated with it for so many hours and even days, I come up with empty handed.
There are so many factors that are playing in my life, too many consequences and repercussions. The rewards, I fear may not substantiate to it because of what I’m feeling, -all because of what I’m feeling; hesitating, doubts, fear and yet, I’ve to be a source of strength and enlightenment to my beloved friends.
As I lie here in bed, I ask myself; how do I do so? How do I be so?

posted by vinz @ 1:55 PM
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